Group Hug/ Eventually I Would Get Tired Of Fighting Zombies

Every night I am haunted by dreams of fighting zombies. In these visions, there are zombies shambling towards me, and my only weapon is a pocket knife. I’m stabbing the zombie in its head over and over again, sometimes the chest, but it never works, and the zombie, being a zombie, simply won't die. It happens in different locations too, one time i was in the backseat of a car, fighting off a zombie attacking me from the front passenger seat of the car. Not entirely sure how I ended up in that situation. In one, a zombie outbreak totally destroyed a shopping mall, there was water flooding everywhere, and once again, all i could do was desperately fend off zombies with my trusty knife. Another time I sat in my childhood bedroom. I being a child, and tragically knifeless just sat there as the zombie approached me. It's all more or less the same.

Dreams are supposed to reflect something about your subconscious, tell you about hidden anxieties, or help your body prepare for possible situations. I know the truth. My subconscious is trying to warn me about an impending ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE!!!! There's no way to know when or how, but I know that it’s important that I start preparing now. I dont want them to catch me off guard. I’m thankful for the years of nightmares, I’ve never been in a fight, but my dreams have basically been training me for this moment my entire life. If I saw a zombie shamble towards me, my muscle memory would probably just take over. I’ll also buy tons of knives at the dollar store. (regular knives are too expensive, and these are just as good)

First, It would probably be a good idea for me to board up all of my windows and doors, along with heavily fortifying them, just in case these zombies are like, really strong. I’m sure my landlord will probably thank me for this.

But now that I think about it, my apartment probably wouldnt be a good shelter for an apocalypse. No resources nearby, no transport, nothing. And if we lose power, we’re done for. Sure, maybe we could survive a few weeks, but if this drags on for months or years, we’re screwed.

Additionally, maintaining your own zombie shelter comes with plenty of its own risks. What do you do if other survivors try to join you in your shelter? There's limited space and supplies, and anything from the outside could be a risk. For all we know, They could already be infected. What if someone from inside your shelter managed to contract the disease? Would you be able to bear kicking them out? In my dreams, I’m mostly alone, but whenever I am with others, they usually end up becoming zombies and trying to kill me anyways. So that probably means i shouldnt manage a shelter.

I’ve had a few conversations with people in regards to what they would do in the zombie apocalypse. My roommate told me he would go live on a boat. On the surface I think this is a great idea. If you need food, you can catch fish, and with enough time, you could probably also grow some food or even fruit trees.

And then there’s me. I wish i was fucking ignorant enough to believe i’ll go my whole life without having to fight a zombie. In terms of combat prowice, i have basically nothing. I’m a slow runner, and I have no experience with lethal weapons. (besides knives) I wish i could go back in time to put the child version of myself through intense combat training, but i havent figured out time travel yet. Sure, whatever, maybe I could just stay behind in the shelter, and let other people scavenge. But in addition to all of this, I also have no gardening knowledge, and no construction or carpentry background, nothing. And so, what reason would any shelter have to let me in? I have the worst stat build ever for a so-called Survivor. I might be able to be a lookout, I would even stay awake all night and every night watching for zombies trying to crawl through the shitty fence and the homes of the survivors. But I would probably mess it up. With all of these people to rely on, I might start to relax, and the danger would feel less real to me. Zombie apocalypse Schmombie apocalypse, amiright? Because of this I would fall asleep, and the survivors, unguarded, would be the perfect prey to a swarm of bloodthirsty zombies. After causing a most monumental disaster, resulting in the deaths, subsequent undeaths, and second deaths of countless surviovors, The shelter would kick me out, and it would once again be just me and my pocket knife against a hoard of zombies.

Assuming this is the case, I would probably fight lots of zombies. It's literally the apocalypse. I’m sure there would be tons of them. Just like in my dreams I would kill all of them with a pocket knife. It would be easy, I have years of training and experience in zombie slaying from all of my dreams. This would just be a matter of shifting the subconscious into the conscious. All I would need to do is let go of all of my previous worldly attachments and become a zombie slaying machine, and then I might stay alive long enough to take a nap, or eat a molding protein bar. I can do that easy. I mean, I’d die if i dont, so i’d have some motivation for it at the very least.

Would becoming a zombie be bad though? Maybe there's a chance they retain some cognition, and theyre might be able to think and do things, just when there's no humans watching. Could I make friends with other zombies? Maybe it's pretty carefree, nobody has any needs, (besides brains) and we all have hobbies! (eating brains) Or if they arent conscious, maybe theyre dreaming about something?

I imagine after maybe five weeks of not sleeping, not eating and doing nothing but fighting zombies it would probably begin to take some kind of physical, or at least mental toll on me. All of these people would have been human at some point, theyre just sick now. I’m not a doctor, and i dont really know anything about medicine, but i would assume most of the zombies are beyond the point of trying to cure them. Is it painful for them to exist? Can they even feel pain anymore? Is it kinder to just kill them, or should we just give them space to roam and live for however long they can?

I dont give a shit about any of that. I dont have the time to think about it, at this point in time, I would be stained green with zombie blood, and my knife would long since have become dull and chipped after plunging it through hundreds of zombie skulls. My clothes are probably in tatters from zombies clawing and ripping at me. There is definitely a mountain of zombie corpses all around me. In all probability, none of them are actually dead, theyre probably just stunned. But it doesnt really matter. I would tell all of the zombies to wait a second, and they would. From my bag, I would produce yet another knife. The crowd goes wild. (they try to kill me) The crowd goes mild. (I kill them)

I’m tired of fighting zombies. It was probably always a possibility, but it would get boring. It's just the same thing over and over again, and it doesnt really make any kind of a difference. If these monsters never get tired, never die, and keep constantly pursuing me, then my undeath would just be something I'm delaying rather than preventing.

And why should I keep fighting against zombies? They want me as one of their own, which is much to say considering the survivors certainly didnt really take to me. And If I tear off all of the skin on my face will they still know it's me? And if they fuck up my body beyond any kind of recognition, then maybe i can be reborn into something better, and at least i’ll be among friends.

I drop my dollar store pocket knives, and let the zombies swarm me. Their fingernails tear into my flesh, and rip me apart, and my brain is happily shared among the swarm.

A few hours later, my body rises, and joins the knife wound riddled mob of zombies. My consciousness is not awake, I'm trapped in a dreamlike state. These dreams are all more or less the same, there are zombies shambling towards me, and my only weapon is a pocket knife. I’m stabbing the zombie in its head over and over again, sometimes the chest, but it never works, and the zombie, being a zombie, simply won't die.

2025
30” x 40”
Acrylic Paint on Cotton Fabric